Óû§Ãû: ÃÜÂë: ÑéÖ¤Âë:    ×¢²á | Íü¼ÇÃÜÂë?
Ê×Ò³|ÌýÁ¦×ÊÔ´|ÿÈÕÌýÁ¦|ÍøÂçµç̨|ÔÚÏߴʵä|ÌýÁ¦ÂÛ̳|ÏÂÔØƵµÀ|²¿Âä¼ÒÔ°|ÔÚÏß±³µ¥´Ê|Ë«ÓïÔĶÁ|ÔÚÏßÌýд|ÆÕÌØÍøУ

¡°±»¾Ü¾ø¡±²¢²»ÊÇ¡°Äã²»¹»ºÃ¡±£¡Õ⼸µã¸üÓ¦¸Ã¶®µÃ£¡

2019-02-20    À´Ô´:ÆÕÌØ¿¼ÊÔСÖúÊÖ    ¡¾´ó ÖРС¡¿      ÃÀ¹úÍâ½Ì ÔÚÏß¿ÚÓïÅàѵ
¶ÔÓںܶàÈËÀ´Ëµ£¬±»¾Ü¾øÊÇÔÙÕý³£²»¹ýµÄÒ»¼þÊÂÇéÁË¡£   ÏàÐÅÄãÃÇÒ»¶¨Ò²Ò»Ö±ÓÐÕâÑùµÄÒÉ»ó£¬ÎªÊ²Ã´±»¾Ü¾øµÄ×ÜÊÇÎÒ£¿Ñо¿·¢ÏÖÆäʵ±»¾Ü¾ø²¢²»ÊÇÒ»¼þÄÇôÔã¸âµÄÊÂÇ飬ÒòΪºÜÏÔÈ»ÂÅÔâ¾Ü¾øµÄÈ˲»Ö¹ÄãÎÒÒ»¸ö¡£   ´ÓJ.KÂÞÁÕµ½Ó¢¹ú´«ÆæÒÚÍò¸»ÎÌÀí²éµÂ.²¼À¼É­ÔÙµ½°ÂÆÕÀ­.θ¥Èð£¬ËûÃÇ´ÓÀ´¶¼Ö»½«¾Ü¾øÊÓ×÷³É¹¦Â·ÉϵÄÒ»¿éµæ½Åʯ¡£Èç¹ûÄãÄܹ»ÏñËûÃÇÒ»ÑùÕýÈ·¿´´ýºÍ´¦ÀíÂÅÔâ¾Ü¾øÕâ¼þÊÂÇ飬ÕâÖÖ½¡¿µÕýÈ·Ö±Ãæ¾Ü¾øµÄ̬¶È½«»áÖØËÜÄãµÄÄÍÐĺͼáÈÍ¡£Ã¿Ò»´ÎµÄʧ°ÜºÍ¾Ü¾ø¶¼»á½Ì»áÄãÈçºÎѸËÙÂúѪ¸´»î£¬Ò²»áÈÃÄãÃ÷°××Ô¼ºÄܹ»±»±ÆÆȵ½Ê²Ã´³Ì¶È¡£   ÄÇôÈçºÎ²ÅÄÜÖ𽥿ªÊ¼½«±»¾Ü¾ø±ä³ÉÒ»¼þ»ý¼«µÄºÃÊÂÄØ£¿Ò»ÆðÀ´¿´¿´ÐÄÀíѧ¼ÒºÍÇé¸Ðר¼ÒÃÇÊÇÔõô˵µÄ°É£¡   1. ²»Òª¹ý¶È×ÔÎÒ¿ÁÔð   Rejection is actually programmed to hurt, triggering the same areas of our brain that are activated when we experience physical pain. ±»¾Ü¾øÆäʵÊÇÒ»¸öÉ˺¦³ÌÐòµÄ¼¤»î¹ý³Ì£¬ÒòΪµ±ÎÒÃÇÔÚ¾­Àú±»¾Ü¾øºóÐÄÀíÉϵÄÍ´¿àʱ£¬´óÄÔÖÐÏàÓ¦µÄÉ˺¦´Ì¼¤ÇøÓò¾Í»á±»¼¤»î¡£   Yet as Guy Winch explains, we have a tendency to self-inflict far greater damage, becoming intensely critical of ourselves in the aftermath. Listing all our faults or endlessly beating ourselves up over what went wrong is common practice, and can be really psychologically destructive. È»¶ø£¬ÐÄÀíѧ¼Ò Guy Winch ½âÊ͵À£º“ÈËÃÇ×ÜÊǹý¶È·Å´óÉ˺¦±¾Éí£¬ÓÈÆäÊÇÔÚÊÂÇé²úÉúÔã¸âµÄºó¹ûÖ®ºóÈËÃÇ»á±äµÃ¸ü¼Ó×ÔÔð¡£ÕâʱºÜ¶àÈ˶¼»á°Ñ×Ô¼º¹ØÔÚ·¿¼äÀïÒ»±é±éµÄ»ØÏë²¢Áоٳö×Ô¼ºµÄÄÇЩ´íÎóÐÐΪ£¬ºÃÏñÕâÑù¾ÍÄܸıäÔã¸âµÄºó¹û¡£Æäʵ²»È»£¬ÔÚʺó¹ý¶È¿ÁÔð×Ô¼ºµÄÐÐΪÊǶÔÒ»¸öÈËÐÄÀíÉϵÄÒ»³¡¼«¶ÈÆÆ»µ¡£”   So take a zero tolerance approach to self-criticism – and give yourself some love. Òò´ËÔÚ±»¾Ü¾øÖ®ºóÊʵ±µÄ×öһЩ×ÔÎÒÅúÆÀµÄͬʱ£¬Ò²Ñ§×Ÿø×Ô¼ºÒ»Ð©ÎÂÈáµÄ¹ÄÀøºÍ°²Î¿¡£ÒòΪֻÓÐÎÂÈáµÄ¹Ø°®²Å»áÈÃÄãÔÚÒ»´Î´ÎµÄ±»¾Ü¾øÖ®ÖбäµÃ¸ü¼ÓÓ¸ҺÍÇ¿´ó¡£   2. ±ðÌ«°Ñ¾Ü¾ø·ÅÔÚÐÄÉÏ   Granted, that’s easier said than done. Particularly in a break up, or my personal favourite form of rejection, the flat mate interview. Which literally comes down to no other variable other than your personality. Burn. È»¶ø£¬ÓÐЩÊÂÇé×ÜÊÇ˵ÆðÀ´ÈÝÒ××öÆðÀ´ÄÑ¡£ÓÈÆäÊÇÉú»îÖÐÃæÁÙ±»ÅüÍÈ¡¢±»Ï²»¶µÄÈ˾ܾøµÈµÈ£¬ÕâЩ±»¾Ü¾øµÄÇé¿ö¹é½áÆðÀ´ºÃÏñ¶¼ÊÇÓÉÓÚÎÒÃÇ×ÔÉíµÄÐÔ¸ñÔ­ÒòËùÖµġ£   But as Guy points out, “Most rejections, whether romantic, professional, and even social, are due to fit and circumstance.” Plus, there are plenty more flatmates in sea. µ«ÊÇÐÄÀíѧ¼Ò Guy È´Ö¸³ö£º“Éú»îÖиü¶àµÄ±»¾Ü¾ø£¬ÎÞÂÛÊǸÐÇéÊÜ´ì¡¢Éç½»ÕÏ°­»òÕßÇóÖ°ÃæÊÔ£¬´ó¶¼ÊÇÓɵ±Ê±µÄ»·¾³ÒÔ¼°ºÏÊʳ̶ÈÔì³ÉµÄ¡£¶øÇÒÓÐÐí¶àÈ˶¼ºÍÄãÓÐ×ÅÏàËƵı»¾Ü¾­Àú£¬ÆäʵÕâÔÙÕý³£²»¹ý¡£”    Kirsten Godfrey suggests avoid generalising rejection into something massive and all-consuming. Concluding that “everything is wrong with me," or “I’ll never find anyone, ever” after one mediocre date is pointlessly treating yourself as a punch bag. ÐÄÀíѧ¼Ò Kirsten Godfrey  ½¨Ò飬ÎÒÃÇÓ¦¸Ã±ÜÃâÒ»¸Å½«±»¾Ü¿´×÷Ò»¼þ·Ç³£Ôã¸â»òÕß¼«ÆäÊÜ´ò»÷µÄÊÂÇé¡£Ðí¶àÈËÏ°¹ßÓÚÔÚÒ»´Îƽ³£µÄÔ¼»áʧ°Ü¹ýºó¾Í¹ýÔçµÄ¸ø×Ô¼ºÏÂÒ»¸ö¶¨ÂÛ£¬°Ñ×Ô¼ºËµ³ÉÒ»¸öÒ»ÎÞÊÇ´¦µÄÈË£¬ÉõÖÁ¾õµÃ×Ô¼ºÒÔºóÒªµ¥ÉíÒ»±²×ÓÁË¡£ÕâÖÖ±»¾Üºó¾Í×Ô±©×ÔÆúµÄÐÐΪÎÞÒÉÊǽ«×Ô¼ºµ±³ÉÁËÒ»¸ö³öÆøͲ£¬Í¬ÑùÕâÖÖ×ö·¨Ò²ÊÇÒª²»µÃµÄ¡£   “Figure out what is in your control to change. And if you can’t change it – don’t worry about it. Move on.  Ãæ¶Ô¾Ü¾øÎÒÃÇÖ»ÐèÒª¸ãÇå³þµ½µ×ÊÇʲôµ¼ÖÂÁË×Ô¼º±»¾Ü¾ø£¬È»ºó¿´¿´Ä㾿¾¹Äܹ»×ö³öÄÄЩ¸Ä±ä¡£Èç¹ûÓÐЩÊÂÇéÄãÎÞ·¨¸Ä±ä£¬ÄÇô²»Óõ£ÐÄÖ»¹ÜÏòÇ°¿´¡£   3. ±ðº¦Å¾ܾøºÍʧ°Ü   When Sara Blakely (self-made billionaire and creator of ‘Spanx’) was growing up, her father repeatedly asked her the same question over dinner. ÈøÀ­.²¼À³¿ËÀû—— ÃÀ¹úÖøÃûÄÚÒÂÆ·ÅÆ Spanx µÄ´´Ê¼ÈË£¬Ò²ÊÇÒ»Ãû°×ÊÖÆð¼ÒµÄÒÚÍò¸»ÎÌ¡£ÔÚËýµÄ³É³¤¹ý³ÌÖУ¬ËýµÄ¸¸Ç××ÜÊÇÔÚ·¹×ÀÉϳÖÐøÎÊËýÒ»¸öÏàͬµÄÎÊÌâ¡£   “What have you failed at this week?” “ÕâÖÜÄã¸ãÔÒÁËÄÄЩÊÂÇ飿”   As Sara recalls, her dad continually encouraged her and her brother to fail – because it is much better to try and fail than not to try at all. In time, as she herself puts it, "failure to me became not trying versus not succeeding." ÔÚËýµÄ¼ÇÒäÖУ¬¶ÔÓÚËýºÍµÜµÜÀ´Ëµ²»ÂÛËûÃÇÔâÓöÁ˺ÎÖÖʧ°ÜºÍ¾Ü¾ø¸¸Ç××ÜÊÇ»áÒ»Ö±¸øËûÃǹÄÀø¡£ÒòΪÄãÈ¥³¢ÊÔÁËʧ°ÜÁË×ܱÈÄãʲô¶¼²»È¥ÊÔ´ýÔÚÔ­µØÒªºÃµÃ¶à¡£ËùÒÔ¶ÔÓÚÎÒÀ´Ëµ×îʧ°ÜµÄÊÂÇé¾ÍÊÇÄã¸ù±¾¾Í²»¸Ò×öÈκγ¢ÊÔ£¬¶ø²»ÊÇʧ°Ü±¾Éí¡£   As psychologist Harriet Lerner points out, “The only sure way to avoid rejection is to sit mute in a corner and take no risks.  If we choose to live courageously, we will experience rejection—and survive to show up for more.” ÕýÈçÐÄÀíѧ¼Ò  Harriet Lerner Ëù˵£º“±ÜÃâ¾Ü¾øºÍʧ°ÜµÄΨһ·½·¨¾ÍÊÇÕ½Õ½¾¤¾¤½÷É÷ÐÐÊ£¬²»Ã°ÈκηçÏÕ¡£µ«ÊÇÕâÑùµÄÈËÉú¾ÍʧȥÁËÒâÒå¡£Èç¹ûÎÒÃÇÏëÒªÓ¸ҵĻî×Å£¬ÄǾͱØÐë¾­Àú¾Ü¾øºÍʧ°Ü£¬È»ºóÔÚÒ»´Î´ÎµÄʧ°ÜÖÐÐҴ棬¾øµØ·êÉú¡£”   4. ½ÓÊܾܾøÊÇÉú»îÖÐ×î×ÔÈ»µÄÒ»²¿·Ö   And it always has been, even before people started swiping left. ½ÓÊܾܾøÓÀÔ¶¶¼ÊÇÉú»îÖÐ×î×ÔÈ»µÄÊÂÇ飬ÕâÒ»µãÊÇ´Óδ¸Ä±äµÄ¡£   In today’s socially savvy world of perfect, celebratory posts and grams, it might not seem like people are experiencing the kind of rejection you are. But they are. They just don’t share it. As Myra explains, “This ‘forced positivity’ is dangerous, because it can stop us talking openly about our own feelings and experiences.”   ÔÚ½ñÌìÕâ¸ö¹âÏÊÁÁÀöµÄÍêÃÀÊÀ½çÀÈËÃÇÈÈÖÔÓÚµ½´¦ÐûÑïºÍÔÞËÌÃûÈË´óÀеijɹ¦°¸Àý£¬ËƺõÕâЩÈ˺ÃÏñ²»»á¾­ÀúÆÕͨÈËËùÔâÓöµÄÕâЩ¾Ü¾øºÍʧ°Ü¡£µ«ÆäʵÕâЩÈËÒ²ºÍÎÒÃÇÒ»ÑùÓÐ×ű»ÎÞÇé¾Ü¾øºÍ´ì°ÜµÄ¾­Àú¡£Ö»²»¹ýËûÃDz»Ô¸Ò⽫×Ô¼ºÂäÆÇÓëʧ°ÜµÄÒ»ÃæÓ빫ÖÚ·ÖÏí£¬¶øÇҺܶàÈ˹À¼ÆÒ²²»Ï²»¶Ìý¡£ÐÄÀíѧ¼Ò Myra ±íʾ£¬ÕâÖÖ¼ÙÃæµÄ³É¹¦°¸ÀýÊǷdz£Î£Ïյģ¬ÒòΪijÖ̶ֳÈÉÏËü×èÖ¹ÁËÎÒÃÇÕâЩÆÕͨÈËÃæÁÙ´ì°Üʱ×îΪÕæʵµÄÇé¸ÐºÍÌåÑé¡£   Equally, as Harriet stresses, don’t let the fear of rejection stop you living your life fully. ͬÑùµÄ£¬Harriet »¹Ç¿µ÷£¬±ðÈöԾܾøºÍʧ°ÜµÄ¿Ö¾å×èÖ¹ÄãÇ°ÐеĽŲ½£¬ÒªÓ¸ÒÕõÍÑÊø¸¿»î³ö×ÔÎÒ¡£   “This applies not just to asking someone for a date, but also making sales calls, trying to get an article published, or approaching new people at a party. You may need to accumulate rejections to understand that they are not the primal threat to your self worth that you imagine them to be.” ÕâÒâζ×Å´Ó½ñÌ쿪ʼÄãÒªÏàÐÅ°®ÇéÖ÷¶¯ºÍÐÄ°®µÄÅ®º¢¶ùÔ¼»á£¬Ö÷¶¯µÄ¸øÄãµÄ¿Í»§ÍÆÏú²úÆ·£¬Å¬Á¦³ö°æ×Ô¼ºµÄС˵£¬¿ªÊ¼ÔÚ¾Û»áÉÏÓ¸ҺÍÄãϲ»¶µÄÈË´îÚ¨¡£ÒòΪÄã²»ÔÙº¦Å±»¾Ü¾øʱ£¬Äã»á»îµÃÇáËÉ×ÔÈç¡£µ±Äã¾­Àú¹ýÎÞÊý´ÎµÄ¾Ü¾øºÍʧ°ÜÖ®ºó£¬¾Í»áÖð½¥Àí½âÄÇЩÄãÔø¾­¿Ö¾åµÄÊÂÇ鲢ûÓÐÄÇô¿ÉÅ¡£   Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which i rebuilt my life.  _____ J.K.Rowling ÄÇЩÈËÉúÖеĵ͹ÈÕýÊÇÎÒÖؽ¨Éú»î×î¼áʵµÄ»ù´¡¡£——— J.K. ÂÞÁÕ   5. ÔھܾøµÄ¾­ÀúÖÐѧϰºÍ³É³¤   Our ability to learn from rejection might once have meant the difference between life and death. ÉúÃüµÄÒâÒå¾ÍÔÚÓÚÎÒÃÇÊÇ·ñÄܹ»´Ó¾Ü¾øºÍʧ°ÜÖÐÎüÈ¡½Ìѵѧϰ³É³¤£¬×îÖÕ»ñµÃÖØÉú¡£   As Guy says, evolutionary psychologists believe the pain of rejection all started when we were hunter-gatherers living in tribes. Getting kicked out from your tribe was basically a death sentence, so we developed a warning mechanism to alert us to the danger signs of being excluded – the feeling of rejection. ÕýÈç Guy Ëù˵£¬ÑÝ»¯ÐÄÀíѧ¼ÒÈÏΪ¾Ü¾ø´ø¸øÈËÀàµÄÍ´¿àÀ´Ô´ÓÚÎÒÃÇÔÚԭʼ²¿ÂäÉú»îʱÆÚµÄÏ°¹ß¡£ÔÚÄǸöȺ¾Ó²ÅÄÜÉú´æÏÂÀ´µÄʱ´ú£¬±»ÄãµÄÉú´æ²¿ÂäËùÇý³ý»ù±¾ÉϵÈͬÓÚÐûÅÐËÀÐÌ¡£Òò´ËÎÒÃÇÔÚÒ»µ©ÏÝÈë±»ÇýÖðµÄΣÏÕʱÐγÉÁËÒ»ÖÖÔ¤¾¯»úÖÆ£¬ÕâÒ²ÕýÊÇÏÖÔÚÈËÃǶÔÓھܾøºÍʧ°ÜʱËù²úÉúµÄµÄµÖ´¥Çé¸Ð·´Ó¦¡£   Those who experienced rejection as more painful were more likely to change their behaviour, remain in the tribe, and survive to pass along their genes. ÄÇЩÈËÔ½¾­Àú¾Ü¾øºÍʧ°ÜµÄÍ´¿à£¬¾ÍÔ½¿ÉÄܵ÷ÕûºÍ¸Ä±ä×Ô¼ºµÄÐÐΪ£¬Ö»ÓÐÕâÑù²ÅÄܹ»±£Ö¤ÔÚ´ó×ÔÈ»ÖмÌÐøÉú´æÏÂÀ´¡£ÈËÀà¾ÍÊÇÒÔÕâÑùµÄ·½Ê½»ùÒòÒ»´ú´úÑÝ»¯¶ø±ä³ÉÁ˽ñÌìµÄÑù×Ó¡£   The modern day equivalent is being able to take those lessons of rejection - be it personal or professional rejection - and grow from them. ¶ÔÓÚÏÖ´úÈËÀ´Ëµ£¬ÕâÖÖÔھܾøºÍʧ°ÜµÄÍ´¿àÖгɳ¤ºÍÑÝ»¯µÄÄÜÁ¦Í¬ÑùÖØÒª¡£²»ÂÛÊǺÎÖÖ´ìÕÛºÍʧ°Ü£¬ÎÒÃǶ¼Ó¦¸Ã´ÓÖÐѧµ½¶«Î÷¡£   ±»¾Ü¾ø²¢²»ÊÇÒ»¸öÈç´ËÏû¼«µÄ´Ê£¬±»¾Ü¾øµÄÈ·ºÜÁîÈËÊÜÉË£¬µ«Ëüʱʱ¿Ì¿Ì¶¼ÔÚ·¢Éú¡£¶øÇҾܾøºÍʧ°ÜºÜ¿ÉÄÜÊÇÄãÖØпªÊ¼ÉóÊÓ×ÔÎÒ£¬ÕÆ¿ØÈËÉúµÄÒ»¸öÆðµã¡£   ϲ»¶¾Í·ÖÏíת·¢°É£¡

¶¥Ò»ÏÂ
(6)
100%
²ÈÒ»ÏÂ
(0)
0%
ÊÖ»úÉÏÆÕÌØ m.putclub.com ÊÖ»úÉÏÆÕÌØ
[ÔðÈα༭£ºcarol]
------·Ö¸ôÏß----------------------------
Ïà¹ØÎÄÕÂÁбí
·¢±íÆÀÂÛ ²é¿´ËùÓÐÆÀÂÛ
Çë×Ô¾õ×ñÊØ»¥ÁªÍøÕþ²ß·¨¹æ£¬ÑϽû·¢²¼É«Çé¡¢±©Á¦¡¢·´¶¯µÄÑÔÂÛ¡£
ÆÀ¼Û:
񡀂:
Óû§Ãû: ÃÜÂë: ÑéÖ¤Âë:
  1. Ã÷ÐÇÓ¢Óï²É·Ã
  2. ÃÀÓï·¢Òô½Ì³Ì
  3. TED½ÌÓý¶¯»­
  1. ÍƼöÎÄÕÂ
  2. ×ÊÁÏÏÂÔØ
  3. ½²×ù¼Òô
ÆÕÌØÓ¢ÓïÊÖ»úÍøÕ¾
ÓÃÊÖ»úä¯ÀÀÆ÷ÊäÈëm.putclub.com½øÈëÆÕÌØÊÖ»úÍøվѧϰ
²é¿´¸ü¶àÊÖ»úѧϰAPP>>
 
mr007