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2019-01-15    À´Ô´:ÆÕÌØ¿¼ÊÔСÖúÊÖ    ¡¾´ó ÖРС¡¿      ÃÀ¹úÍâ½Ì ÔÚÏß¿ÚÓïÅàѵ
ÆÚ¿¯FrontiersÉÏÒ»Ïî¹ØÓÚÐÄÀíѧµÄÑо¿·¢ÏÖ£¬”µ±ÄãÈñðÈËʧÍûµÄʱºò£¬×îºÃ±£Áô×Ô¼ºµÄǸÒ⣬¸ü²»ÒªÊ¹ÓÃ"sorry"Õâ¸ö´Ê£¬ÕâÑù´ø¸ø±ðÈ˵ÄÉ˺¦¿ÉÄÜСºÜ¶à¡£“   ʲô£¿Õ⻹²»ÄܵÀǸÁË£¿£¡ÏàÐÅ´ó¼Ò¸úÆÕ´óÒ»Ñùã±ơ£   Õâ¼þÊÂËƺõÌýÆðÀ´¾ÍÓÐÎ¥³£Àí£¬Ñо¿¸Ã±¨¸æµÄ×÷ÕßÕâÑù˵£¬“¶Ô²»Æð”Õâ¸ö´Ê³£³£»áÈöԷ½¾õµÃËûÃÇÓÐÒåÎñÈ¥Ô­ÁÂÄ㣬¿ÉÍùÍùÊÂÇéÓÖûÓÐÄÇô¼òµ¥£¬Ò»¾äµÀǸ²¢²»ÄÜÕæÕý½â¾öÎÊÌ⣬ËùÒÔÕâÑùÖ»»áÈÃËûÃǸоõ¸üÔã¡£   ¶Ô´Ë£¬Ñо¿ÈËԱѡÔñÁË1000¶àÈËÔÚ²»Í¬Éç»á³¡¾°Ï½øÐÐÁ˵÷²é¡£   First, the volunteers were told to write down what they felt was a good way to reject a hypothetical request. (For example, how would they say “no” to a date or “no” to living with your roommate next year?) Approximately 39 percent of the participants included an apology in their responses.    Ê×ÏÈ£¬Ñо¿ÈËÔ±¸ø³öÁËһЩ¼ÙÉ裬ҪÇó²ÎÓëÕßдÏÂÈçºÎÀ´¸üºÃµØ¾Ü¾øÕâЩÇëÇó¡££¨ÀýÈ磬Ôõô¶ÔÒ»³¡Ô¼»á˵“²»”»òÕ߾ܾøÃ÷ÄêºÍÉáÓÑÒ»Æðס?£©´óÔ¼39%µÄ²ÎÓëÕßÔڻشðÖж¼°üº¬Á˵ÀǸÒâζ¡£   After that, the researchers turned the “no” replies on the participants. They asked the volunteers how they felt after they read a rejection letter.   Ö®ºó£¬Ñо¿ÈËÔ±°ÑÕâЩ¾Ü¾øµÄÊéÐŽ»¸øÁíһЩ²ÎÓëÕߣ¬Ñ¯ÎÊËûÃÇÔĶÁÕâЩ֮ºóµÄ¸ÐÊÜ¡£   ½á¹û±íÃ÷£º   Those who had an apology in their letters reported feeling more hurt than those who just simply were rejected. ½ÓÊܵ½¶Ô·½µÀǸµÄÄÇЩÈ˱ÈÖ»Êǵ¥´¿±»¾Ü¾øµÄÈËÊܵ½µÄÉ˺¦¸ü¶à¡£   ³ý´ËÖ®Í⣬¹ØÓھܾø±ðÈ˵Äʱºò£¬µÀǸ»á´øÀ´Ê²Ã´ºó¹û£¬ËûÃÇ×öÁËÁíÒ»ÏîʵÑ飺   The study authors told participants that they were being rejected from a group experiment that involved a hot sauce taste test. Some participants received rejection letters from the group containing an apology for being excluded from the activity, and some got letters without an “I’m sorry.” ¸ÃÏîÑо¿µÄ·¢ÆðÈ˸æËß²ÎÓëÕߣ¬ËûÃDZ»¾Ü¾ø²Î¼ÓÒ»¸ö°üº¬Æ·³¢À±½´²âÊÔµÄС×éʵÑ顣һЩ²ÎÓëÕßÊÕµ½ÁËÀ´×Ô¸ÃС×éµÄ¾Ü¾øÐÅ£¬ÐÅÀïÃæ±í´ïÁËС×é¶ÔÓÚËûÃDz»ÄܲμÓÕâÏî»î¶¯µÄһЩǸÒ⣬ÁíһЩ²ÎÓëÕßͬÑùÒ²ÊÕµ½Á˾ܾøÐÅ£¬µ«ÀïÃ沢ûÓбí´ïËûÃǵÄǸÒâ¡£    The rejected participants were instructed to decide how much hot sauce the group had to taste. They also were told that the group had aversions to spicy food. Those who had an apology in their rejection letter were more likely to act out of “revenge” and give the group more hot sauce, even though they were told the group hated spicy food.   ±»¾Ü¾øµÄÕâЩ־ԸÕßÃDZ»¸æÖªÕâ¸öʵÑéС×éҪƷ³¢¶àÉÙÀ±½´Á¿µÄ¾ö¶¨È¨ÆäʵÔÚËûÃÇÊÖÖУ¬Í¬Ê±ËûÃÇ»¹±»¸æÖªÕâ×éÈ˶¼·Ç³£ÌÖÑá³ÔÀ±µÄʳÎï¡£½á¹û·¢ÏÖ£¬ÊÕµ½µÄ¾Ü¾øÐÅÖк¬ÓÐǸÒâµÄÄÇЩÈ˸ü¶àµØ²ÉÈ¡ÁË“±¨¸´”ÐÐΪ£¬¸ø³ö¸ü¶àµÄÀ±½´Á¿£¬¾¡¹ÜËûÃÇÊÂÏÈÒѾ­ÖªµÀÕâ¸öС×éµÄÈËÌÖÑáÀ±µÄʳÎï¡£   ×îºó£¬Ñо¿ÈËÔ±»¹×öÁËÒ»¸öʵÑ飬À´²âÊÔ´ø×ÅǸÒâµÄ¾Ü¾øÈçºÎÓ°Ïì¶Ô·½Ô­Á½á¹ûµÄÊÇÓë·ñ¡£ÊµÑé½á¹û»¹ÊÇ£º   The participants who watched a rejection with an apology were more likely to say they felt obligated to forgive the person saying “no” - even if that’s not what they wanted to do.  ÄÇЩ±»ÍñÑԾܾøµÄ²ÎÓëÕßÃǸü»á¾õµÃËûÃÇÓÐÒåÎñÈ¥Ô­ÁÂÄǸö˵“²»”µÄÈË——¼´Ê¹ÄDz¢²»ÊÇËûÃÇÏë×öµÄ¡£   µ±È»£¬ÕâЩ½á¹û¿ÉÄÜÎÞ·¨ÊÊÓÃÓÚÿһÖÖÇé¿ö¡£ÓÐЩʱºò£¬Õæ³ÏµÄµÀǸÒÀ¾ÉÊǷdz£±ØÒªµÄ¡£ËùÒÔÑо¿ÕßÃÇ»¹Ðè×ö¸ü¶àµÄµ÷²éÀ´Ñо¿±»¾Ü¾øÕߵĸÐÊÜÒÔ¼°µÀǸËù²úÉúµÄÓ°Ïì¡£   »°ËäÈç´Ë£¬µ«ÕâÏîÑо¿µÄÈ·Ç¿µ÷ÁËÁ¼ºÃµÄÒâͼ¿ÉÄÜ»áÊʵÃÆä·´¡£Ñо¿¸Ã±¨¸æµÄ×÷ÕßGili Freedman˵£º   While an apology may be well-meaning, it can also be self-serving. ËäÈ»µÀǸ¿ÉÄÜÊÇÉÆÒâµÄ£¬µ«Í¬Ê±ËüÒ²¿ÉÄÜÊÇ×Ô˽µÄ¡£   ´ïÌØé˹ѧԺµÄ²©Ê¿ºóÑо¿Ô±FreedmanÔÚÃÀ¹úÉú»îʱÉÐÔÓÖ¾(Real Simple)ÉÏÕâÑù˵µÀ£º   “If your motivation is to feel better about yourself, maybe you do want to apologize.But if you really are concerned about the other person’s feelings, know that offering an apology might not help much ¨D and may make them feel even worse.” “Èç¹ûÄãµÄ³õÖÔÊÇÈÃ×Ô¼º¸Ð¾õ¸üºÃ£¬ÄÇÄã¿ÉÄÜÕæµÄÊÇÏëµÀǸ£¬µ«Èç¹ûÄãºÜÔÚÒâ¶Ô·½µÄ¸ÐÊÜ£¬ÄǾ͸ÃÖªµÀµÀǸÆäʵ²¢Ã»ÓÐʲôÓã¬ÉõÖÁ»áÈÃËûÃǸоõ¸üÔã¡£”£¨Ëµ¶àÁ˶¼ÊÇÀá~£©   ËùÒÔ£¬´ó¼ÒÔÚʹÓÓsorry”Õâ¸ö´Êʱ£¬Ò»¶¨ÒªÉ÷ÖØ¡£¾ÍÎÊÄãŲ»Å£¿

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